Despair

Is despair the end of the emotional spectrum, just before black, black death?

Or are emotions nonquantitative? Can I even say a 'spectrum' exists?

I sincerely hope that death is, above all, peace, when it comes for me.

And if it's not, and I burn or freeze or think or stop or alone? Well, then, I've prepared in my head for the worst. Respite need not come when I'm as ready for the infinite unknown as any will ever be.

Valueless, but not unvalued; unvaluable, but to some invaluable; despicable, but appreciated; vile, but not deprecated. May no one's life ever depend on mine, for it is a weak and rotten support.

Suicide? negligence. Responsibility is not gone, though its appearance is a thin veneer.