Under the Influence

DUI. A criminal offense related to driving a vehicle while under chemical influence. Drugs, drink, love, whatever.

So shouldn't there be a category of literary crime for the same offense?

"Writing Under the Influence," or WUI (pronounced wooo--eeee!). Maybe add a few things that aren't allowed.

For instance, some of the pieces on fanfiction.net appear to have been written while the author was impersonating the monkeys from the Shakespeare experiment.

Or the cat from Schroedinger's experiment. Beating their heads on the side of the box--err, keyboard--until the garbage is long enough. Or the author dies poisoned.

Other pieces are obviously written while in the sway of certain rhythmic bowel movements. Such as 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails. Now, as a rule, I disapprove of modern music--modern being defined as mid-20th century and later--but it does have its good points.

Rap is not one of those good points.

If you must write with music, please, please, please, choose the mood carefully. Lemonade (such an off-the-wall euphemism for written porn!) of certain types may require particular rhythms, but respect the reader and do your best. Anyone expecting to be published as an independent needs to keep this attitude--not foremost--but in mind.